♥ Friday, November 5, 2010
I'm so messed up right now.
That was the first time ever that i was insulted to such an extent. The insults i got made me feel like shit. I felt like a bitch. I felt like i'm not worthy of anyone. Though i know i shouldn't really care because those people who said that to me mean nothing to me and because they don't know me well enough, i still can't erase those insults from my memories. They are etched in my mind,and i guess they will stay.
I am very disappointed with you. All this while,i've treated you as my friend,a very close friend. I didn't expect you would think so lowly of me. I didn't expect that all this while,you expected something in return. I wish you could have accepted and respected my decision,but you proved me wrong. I've always thought you were a good person,but you showed me your true colours and i'm glad indeed that i never had any feelings for you. I know you were wrong about me,and i believe that those people who mean a lot to me wouldn't think the same way of me.
Although you have apologised and i have "forgiven" you,i guess i've not truly forgiven you. And,obviously,i am not able to forget the insults you threw at me. I'm just glad that the chapter with you is over. I do feel guilty and sorry for whatever that has happened,but after you treated me that way,i think maybe i shouldn't feel guilty or sorry at all. I would be doing myself injustice for putting the blame on myself. I wish we could have remained as friends,but i guess that is impossible. Your birthday's coming up and i feel like wishing you happy birthday,but i don't want to have a conversation with you so,i guess i'll just refrain from doing so.
Okayy,chapter's closed. For the better. I hope.
Peace out @ 5:05 PM
♥ Friday, September 24, 2010
What's happening to me?! Aaargghhh! Day in,day out,you're always on my mind. How hard i try to ignore these thoughts and feelings,they just won't go. I miss you :'(
Peace out @ 2:59 PM
♥ Monday, September 20, 2010
Wow. My blog is like a ghost town. It's been so long since the last time i blogged. As per normal, i'm getting lazy of going online and blogging.
A lot has been happening lately. Exams for first semester are overrr! And i'm very happy about that! It is such a relieve; a burden off my shoulder. But(!), at the same time, i'm very nervous of the results. :S I just got to know that the results will be released on 28 September! That's like in 8 days. I'll be praying hard that i don't fail any modules.
Apart from that, many things have changed. People came and people left. I wish they could have remained as my friends. But well, things happen for a reason. And, good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.
Peace out @ 12:37 AM
♥ Wednesday, July 21, 2010
"chill k
im still here
trust me"
I wish i could...but i know i can't. You're not going to be there forever...at some point of time, you will be gone. And my hopes would be dashed once again. But those words certainly caused a stir in my heart...
Peace out @ 5:45 PM
♥
I wish i could lock myself up away from the world right now.
Just curl up and let my tears flow freely.
Peace out @ 1:02 PM
♥ Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Why is it hard to do even that? ='((
Labels: letting go...
Peace out @ 8:00 PM
♥ Monday, July 5, 2010
It's way over my limit now. My brother's been brainwashing my mum with information which is not totally true and is very accusing. It's not just once or twice,it's been many times now. And i'm very irritated and pissed off already. If what you say is true,then fine...i have nothing to say. But when you do not know the truth and you're just plainly accusing me, it irks me. That is totally unfair okayy.
My mum is starting to doubt me and everything i say. This is what i hate. When i'm saying the truth,you don't like it. When i'm not saying the truth,i know you won't like it either. So when i'm saying the truth and you doubt me,it makes me feel like it doesn't make a difference if i were to lie. Get it?
When it's not my mistake and i've not done anything wrong,why am i being the one wronged? I don't like it. You're not giving me any justice. Why must someone else's mistake become my shadow? Stop comparing me with her. Stop predicting that i will be like her. I know my limits and i've not done anything wrong for you to judge that i will be like her. You are just pushing me the wrong way...and when something you've not been wanting to happen happens,don't blame me.
Why don't you imply that the same thing could happen to him? Just because he's a guy? Just because he's older than me? I hate this gender-biased-ness. I hate it when someone older than you escapes this kind of accusation just because of his/her age. What crap is that?
Lately, my mum's been saying "Jangan buat nonsense eh..." or "Jangan nonsense2 eh...". I'm not doing anything! Pfft. She even went to the extent of calling me and wanting to talk to Aqilah just now. That just goes to show she doesn't trust me. And i'm totally speechless. I just got a lecture. And i just feel like breaking down. My brother is _______________ .
Right now,i'm going to give my brother the cold shoulder treatment for doing this to me.
Peace out.
Peace out @ 12:32 AM
